maralton

Small Measures

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:10:07 GMT

A small bit of success. I knew I couldn't make it tomorrow to weigh in so I went at lunch, stayed for the meeting. I lost 1/2 of the last 3 month gain. I didn't obsess, I had no clue until I got on the scale. I thought about everything I ate, wrote down points. Yes, I treated myself to a large point breakfast Sunday, but all within my weekly allowance. That's the way to go. Several problems were weighing on me (no pun intended) and for the moment they are gone. But I have to resolve this past behavior and I am working on that too. The struggle is to get stronger and take control.

One Week

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 19:17:14 GMT

One week trying to think before I did things. And I did. Of course working hard takes away some issues, but I was prepared with food. This weekend I worked on Saturday and spent an hour walking in the early evening when it was cool. Might be able to do it again if the rain moves off after the race today.

Today I cooked my special breakfast burrito. I freeze them, then use as needed. So I will take them to work and freeze. I also have shredded wheat I'm taking to work. Alternate breakfasts. They say you need it and lose weight better if you eat it. I never seem to have time in the morning. As I have dropped the gym, I need to find ways at home. I do have my weights and I do arm workouts as I watch TV. I need to work in stretches and ab crunches as well. It can be done.

I have also stayed away from the scale. What happens on Tuesday, happens. I am also trying to occasional put myself first. I treated myself to breakfast out, 18 points, but those extra 35 are there for that. I'm not that extra hungry now and have eaten fruit, carrots and a 2 pt WW ice cream. I really won't need anything until dinner at 7PM. A peach I bought yesterday was delicious, just the way I like them. I will probably go back and get more, I don't get enough fruit. Also, a little later, I will cook my special casserole, a fake Shepard's Pie recipe form Diet Workshop that is at least 30 years old. But the french cut green beans and cauliflower instead of mashed potatoes and eggs is lighter and has less empty calories. I love potatoes and hate to think of them as empty, but other carbs have better nutrients and less calories.

Being prepared is a big step. I have to think about next week at the racetrack, all day for 2 days. No track food if I want to be right on. Have to bring a cooler.

Things are a bit better. I can only hope I grow stronger.

Jumpy

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 22:08:48 GMT

Don't know why, I'm jumpy, like adrenalin or something. I am at the office, working late, and I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin. I have been totally eating well, making good choices since Saturday. Usually I feel OK. Can't explain why. There are other issues I'm dealing with other than food, maybe my nerves are on edge about that as I begin to realize I had just reached the point of no return. I have been saved from the abyss, but I could easily slide back down if I'm not careful, or should I say Thoughtful. That's what my life is going to take.

Sometimes I feel like I'm being bounced around, no control over certain issues. I take my work too personally. I have to learn to let go. I miss family that I can talk to being physically close. Family doesn't judge, but my situation is somewhat different from the others. I am alone. I didn't say lonely, just alone. There aren't the times to just talk or bounce ideas. The people who know me try to help me keep grounded. But they do have there own lives. although important to them, I can't be the #1. I guess I miss being #1 for somebody. But that's a choice I made. I have become unwilling to compromise my time, and any real relationship will take time.

A bit blue. Time to look for a professional before I spiral again.

Do Overs

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 17:40:58 GMT

I am really trying this time to apply thought to my actions. I am impulse person. Go with the flow. But, you pay a price.

My food has been thoughtful. I bought milk today and had cereal for breakfast at work. I can do that everyday for a while. Lunch, brought on Monday for the week, works just fine. Make the sandwich. Of course I won't do potato salad every week, but for now, it assists in the change. Lasagna was quite filling last night, although late. It's my low fat recipe so I know the count. I don't eat the veggies and fruits they would like. Another area to slowly introduce. My stomach feels great. I'm not really hungry.

I don't carry much money, so I'm not tempted to impulse buying. That's new to deal with. It's all part of the general picture. Think before you act. In all things. Hard change, but it's addressing many issues, not just one. I want, I need. I want chocolate, do I need it? Etc etc.

So, I put the scale away. I obsess when I'm seeking a weight goal. Not this time. Whatever happens in weigh-in happens. If I don't obsess, maybe I won't go off track, I can take responsibility.

Renew

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 18:46:37 GMT

It's time to renew my life, look back at what happened since March, what unwise choices I've made over the years. The past has a habit of catching up, whether it's about health, wealth or life choices.

So there are many reasons for the weight, for eating, but I am destroying myself. There are issues I haven't necessarily dealt with or found closure, so I engage in self destructive behavior. Eating is just one of these behaviors. I am waking up and forcing myself to really understand how I live and what I need to do. Probably the most important thing is too think first. I am somewhat impulsive and attracted by marketing. Do I really need the item? Do I really need the candy? Madison Ave says yes. I have to learn to say no.

The first step is to look around my house. After assisting elder parents in a move, with tossing items saved over a huge lifetime, I began to look at my possessions. If I had to move, or if I'm gone, what's to happen? Memories are memories, but do I need every textbook since high school? Records that will never be played again because I have the CD? Magazines that won't be reread, but are in storage? Old bank statements? Not even the IRS goes back more than 7 years. I also have old computer games that ran on Windows 95. I think it's time for the trash.

I am looking a pile of 10 phonebooks, since 2000. I think they can go. I'll have to work at this slowly or the trash collectors will kill me. But It makes you think of all the money that has been spent on must have items, and then become junk. My most worthwhile purchase in the last 2 years was my iPod. Now that upgrades and gives me much pleasure. That was a worthy purchase.

Moral: Think before you eat, think before you buy. Is it I want or I need? Applies to everything in life, not just food.

W11 D2

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:49:29 GMT

I am keeping to a plan. I have slowly changed the eating habits. I will weigh in on Tuesday. Not hard really as I become appetite challenged and even if I get something trick for take out, I can't eat much. A buffet is so much better for me, little of this, little of that. I am not able to eat full servings or indeed as much as I used to stuff in. So the exercise becomes a key. It's cold, but I trying to do that 3/4 mile walk instead of taking the bus. That starts the metabolism, then oatmeal breakfast takes care of the rest. Maybe eating breakfast makes the appetite difference throughout the day.

I did get to the gym Monday. The workout was worth it, felt good. Tuesday and Wednesday were out due to away from office things over 2 hours. Can't justify a third, especially given volume. Stress is there, and I feel it in the muscles. I sleep, but wake up with aches in hip or shoulder. My thigh muscle seems cramped. Could be potassium. I'm notorious for that. I hope to go today, work it out, sit in the sauna and let the muscles soak up the heat. Only 10 minutes, but it helps. I can't sleep comfortably on my back, and that affects the shoulder, sleeping on the side. Wake up with cold arm from out of covers, or pins and needles from "asleep" muscles.

I'll work it out. Spring is coming. 10% weight loss is 7lbs away. At least this time when I go crazy, my top weight is less and less. Just can't let the crazy period last more than a few days, if that.

W10 D5

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 19:38:05 GMT

Came back to a lot of work, no chance to catch up. So here I am doing it at home, while watching the race.

Overall, the 6 days away were very satisfying. I ate well, but intelligently, exercised (I did go to the fitness room one day) and got some peace of mind. The end of the trip was driving a race car, ending at 6PM, then off to the airport for my red eye, in Boston by 6:30 AM, then to work to work 2 hours later. Quite a switch. The time at the Grand Canyon was good, too little time at Valley of Fire. Weather etc permitting, next year I would spend a full day at Valley of Fire, then race at night on the track.

I was assured that my time was the fastest for the first 8 laps. The next session I was more in the middle. I have decided that next time I push the envelope instead of placing myself in perfect position. That way my instructor will know I want to go faster. Maybe I am 3-4 cars instead of 2=3 behind.

I came back the same weight, but have been eating out of recovery. Work is bad at the moment. If I'm super stressed I don't eat. I'm just unhappy enough to stuff my face. So today I am cooking for the week. No more takeout, lunch brought to work, etc. I also need to get to the gym and work out the demons. I have different expectations in my new position, and I have to make some noise or I will be trampled. I understand the new focus, but I was assured that I would have 30% of my time for other duties. These issues are making me eat, and that has too stop, stop STOP. Time to get back to WW and weekly meetings like any AA person, although in my case it is food addiction. Eating the wrong things makes me ill. I still do it. So, the end again and time to focus on me, and let the other chips fall where they may. We'll see.

W9 D 6 Cont

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 07:32:56 GMT

A lovely day today. Decent breakfast at the buffet then off to get a car and go to the West Rim of the Grand Canyon. I saw the West Rim before the South, and fell in love with it's color and relative intimacy, 14 miles across compared to 28. It was rather raw and undeveloped, on an Indian reservation. Although still beautiful, things have changed. At least there's no casino (yet) but they are learning how to make money. A claim is that they are trying to perserve it. Now you can only drive to one location, pay a parking fee, then a pass. You must use the tour bus to go to various locations, some under development. I paid the extra fee to walk out on the glass bottom overview. A little freaky. Took time to trust the glass.

In any case, while I understand the need to limit human intrusion and destruction, it is being developed as a commercial enterprise, with a bigger landing strip and a hotel on site to attract visitors from further than Las Vegas. I don't know when I'll return. Everyone was lovely, but the serenity I did feel today I can see being eroded. Today wasn't even a high tourist season. The 14 mile unpavedroad to the entrance discourages the casual visitor, not for long.

W9 D6

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 17:11:00 GMT

Well, a great race wekend. Won on Saturday with 10-1 odds, paid back all my racing bets+. Sunday my man came in 2nd. Too bad, 18-1 odds. Also $20 in the poker mchine led to $25 in 3 minutes, so I cashed out. I'm a banker. 25% return in 3 minutes is exceptional. I guess I'm too aware of credit risk.

I have been spending more for dinner, eating well. My tummy is quite happy. Today I found the fitness center and did a work out. Now I feel really good. More later.

W9 D3

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 06:46:54 GMT

Well, it was an interesting day. Morning as planned was buffet, a place visited every year. However, plate was not loaded, proteins were present, and I couldn't finish the plate. Hmmmm. I had a protein bar at the track, then fell for kettle corn, but it's enough to last the entire trip here.

There wasn't any night racing, so back to the hotel to decide about dinner. Whenever I am really thinking about what I eat, I watch a lot of food network for substitution, not to mention Top Chef and Hell's Kitchen. So I have begun to recognize top names in the business, and a lot of them have fairly expensive restaurants in Vegas. I had decided to try one, and pay through the nose to see if there truly is a difference. In cruising one particular hotel, the prices were a little more than I was interested in. Finally I settled on Emeril's (Lagasse). Although cooking in New Orleans, he is Portuguese from Fall River. Portuguese cooking is a lot like cajun. In looking at the menu it was hard to pick so there it was....Chef's Tasting. A 6 course meal of smallish items. It was more than I was used to in price, but top, top quality. Everyone should do it once. I sat at the bar for dinner, the bartenders took great care of me, introducing each course just like on TV. I had a litre of Pellegrino that they kept under the bar cooling for me and made sure my glass was full. Excellent service and incredible food. Probably my entire week's point allowance, but it took 1 1/2 hours, pleasant conversation with neighbors, and each course slightly different. I made sure that I told the maitre'd what excellent service I had. Women eating alone are sometimes overlooked.

By the way, last night was wonderful, with a special personal session with Louie Anderson, one of my favorite comics. After 10 years of coming for the race, there are truly new experiences if you make them.

W9 D3

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 15:16:18 GMT

I completed the first day of vacation decently. Walked for exercise and had my only meal here 3:30 local time, 6:30 stomach time. I then stayed up until 11 local to get myself in synch here. I found that indeed my appetite at the buffet was not as in the past. One plate, focus on protein. I went around to other stations to see if I was tempted to a second taste, but listened to my body which said I'm full. As a result, I spent the evening feeling just fine.

I might be at the track until late, so no dinner pssibly except a prtoein bar.
Have to get going today. Off to breakfast, which will probably end up being my only substantial meal. Well, they say a good breakfast is the most important meal.

W 8 D5

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 20:35:38 GMT

Well, I have more or less kept to the plan and dropped 5 lbs. Mostly water as I get back into gear. It makes me feel better heading off to Las Vgas.

I have tried to have productive time. I loaded most everything I wish unto my iPod, barely 25% of the whole collection, but the purpose is mood and What I want to hear, dance, slow, songs I like. I put the best stuff on. I also started to build my library using collecterz. Scan the barcode and it brings in the info. It's resting on my hard drive, so I do have to copy it for record purposes, but it also allows you to say what you've lent and to who. I know some people that need that for their DVD's and books. I have those programs too, but one step at a time.

Now I need to do some cleaning before I leave town. I am managing to use freezer things and eggs, which has helped the meal planning as well as emptying out the freezer. I am thinking of Thursday, but still have work days to get through. 5 days of racing and fun. Can't wait.

W8 Day1

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 14:50:50 GMT

Silence from this blog usually means not good news. I went off the reservation for 3 weeks, basically. the damage is bad, but not too bad, and I am now back on eating track, just have to get on exercise track. I am determined to lose 5 lbs before I leave next Thursday, and I believe it can be done as I eat well and get rid of toxic waste in my body.

Eating in Las Vegas is never really a challenge. There are fewer and fewer places I like to eat. At my favorite buffets, there are fewer and fewer things I like. The idea is to get a good breakfast. I do a lot of walking, so I get some exercise. I do need to find the work out room in the hotel. They claim to have one although I have never seen it in the 8 years I've stayed there. I eat a hardy breakfast, a protein bar for lunch at the track, then dinner is option choice, and I always walk back to the hotel, weather allowing. Down .6 since yesterday, a decent start.

W4 (corrected) D6 Part II

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 21:38:36 GMT

I did the gym. A very satisfying workout. Felt good. I am planning tonight's meal as I must get more room in the freezer. Sunday is meat day, I have to have room plus I had planned to eat it in one month. I have 1lb of hamburger. I am thinking meatloaf. The egg will add moisture, as well as onions, although I am thinking 4 oz will go to a hamburger dinner with lots of onions and mushrooms (sorry, BH Frog). There are still pork chops, which can be defrosted and cooked in one fell swoop. Maybe tomorrow. Lots of applesauce. I do need some vegetables. Maybe tomorrow when I'm near Whole fields. Today frozen lima beans will do. I also have frozen pepper strips...they would be excellent in a meat loaf. What fun. I feel like cooking instead of taking the easy way out. Thursday is my only late night, unless I go to the gym after work. Plan, Plan, Plan.

W3 D6

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 13:58:58 GMT

No weigh in last week due to multi activities. Same true this week. I haven't posted because I was struggling. I couldn't get to the gym, wasn't active, ate outside food. Now, I say no, no food purchases. There is plenty in the freezer and plenty of prepared foods. I have been eating the eggs. I love something called cook out egg. Old girl scout recipe, to help keep pan usage down. You cook bacon 50%, then put a piece of bread with a hole on top, then an egg in the hole. The bread soaks up the bacon fat and toasts. Very good, but not the best choice from caloric and saturated fat point of view. So now, I have modified it. Turkey bacon, almost no fat, and a corn tortilla with a hole for the egg. Less fat, more fiber. A little different, but still tasted good.

I haven't been as good for dinners. It's that energy thing again. I am going to stick to a soup and sandwich menu and see how it goes. Also it will help empty the freezer. Back to the gym, more energy. I did go to the movie and had popcorn. While initially it is good, it wanes very quickly and I notice the salt, much too much for me. So that means water retention from additional sodium. I have backtracked a few pounds and need to focus again. The gym really helps. I will recover by weigh in next week.

W3 D7

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 14:26:03 GMT

Not a successful weekend. I was lazy and didn't want to cook or clean. SO I got take out Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. Friday was Italian and it didn't go down well. Not much sleep. Saturday was a workout as I helped family unpack and move boxes around. Saturday night was Mexican, where I was a little more cautious. Sunday I was tired and watched football, and ate Japanese. A little better for me, but all of these foods contain more sodium than I have been using at home. Also, not as much exercise, so some pounds are back on, but only temporary as it is water and waste working through the body. I need to go back to the gym today. Yesterday I did manage to cook a special casserole that is very light (mashed cauliflower substitutes for mashed potatoes and french cut green beans are a filler). I was able to use some of my farm hamburger which had virtually no fat and was tasty. That left 3 more meals for the week.

Tonight is different as I go to the theatre straight from work. I am eating out with friends, but can be careful. I really think part of my problem was not having the energy to cook, and partly because no work out. I also didn't feel like doing dishes, but I cleaned a bit of the kitchen yesterday, as well as a bit of the bedroom and living room. I am slowly reorganizing and sorting. Unfortunately it also means cleaning, which doesn't excite me. I have too many things.

Getting life in order in general is a background to the weight loss. House in order, body in order. I just hate facing up and doing. I put it off, I sabotage. Well, got to try a little everyday. I am not upset by the temporary weight gain, I made my choices. But I know ot won't continue, I got back on track. Next week all will be well at weigh-in.

W3 D3

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 18:37:18 GMT

Well, a test today. Lots of lovely items on the menu, like a Chicken Quesadilla with sour cream and guacamole. But I held to the chef's salad. Egg, ham, turkey and cheese in a decent amount with lots of baby greens. The dressing didn't have oil on top, pretty thick and creamy, but on the side so I controlled the amount. Maybe more points than I eat at lunch, but definitely something that I have a better handle on counting calories and paying attention to fat content and how it was cooked.

So I can feel saintly. The tough job is really ahead this weekend. Somehow I will get through it. Controlled grocery shopping is one way.

I actually feel full but not stuffed, so eating right things can make you feel better. If I had had fired clams, like some others, I would probably feel like a lump of lead in the tum. And maybe not alert and ready to work the rest of the day.

Today is someone's birthday and we have chinese cake, which is a sponge cake and very light, with whipped cream topping. However, that is sugar. I won't have any because I am serious about that. Sugar substitute in small amounts in WW products, or diet drinks, but that is it. Sugar has controlled my life for too long and now I need to control it. Abstinence is what I need now. I also plan to go th the gym at 4:45 tonight. That will help burn the extra as always. I have food ready to cook when I get home, and a tangerine while it is in the oven will delay the hunger. Nothing to pick on in the house anyway. Shop tomorrow. Shop wisely.

W3 D2

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 14:42:26 GMT

After sweating it out for the weigh-in, I made sure I drank plenty of water Tuesday night and Wednesday, which did mean more bathroom visits, but I was convinced that I had water gain. Surprise surprise! I got on my scale this morning and it was the lowest yet. They say that constant water increases the metabolism. They say that water in, water out if it is consistent. Women do not believe this. We know we retain. But in any case, right now it is true. If I can get through this 3 day weekend with a loss, I will be glad. I know my focus should not be on the scale, but that is the ultimate manner in which our goals are measured.

But here are some others:
1. I feel well. No more tummy upsets, heartburn or occasional throwing up -- not since the party where I ate different things that didn't agree with me.
2. I like going to exercise.
3. My step is bouncier as I feel lighter.
4. I sleep through the night (except for bathroom trips)
5. Less joint pain.
6. Mental satisfaction.
7. My clothes are looser and in some cases falling off (time to try those smaller sizes in the closet).
8. Nice comments from people with only 17 official lbs. off.
9. More energy at work.
10. A building strength to say no to sugar and bad fat.

I think that is pretty good. My WW leader always talks about the scale and how we fixate on it. Grimacing before weigh-in, apologizing for gains. He tries to emphasize that we should evaluate success in other methods. The scale is not an adversary, just a tool. I think that approach has really helped me look at weight loss differently. Although I am weighing in daily to get a sense of how I fluctuate during the week, what eating/drinking has affected me, I am really trying to focus on the other positives, how I feel, how I look. It is a different mind set and one reason I believe I am more successful right now. I just have to carry through. It is worth weighing in Tuesday night for this leader. Otherwise I would be back to my old Friday weigh-in, which allowed me more freedom on the weekend to make unwise choices.

I sincerely hope my life is changing. But, while this works for me, it is much harder for those feeding others, and responsible for family food preparation. Making all happy is not an easy task.

W3 D1

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 14:08:36 GMT

A new beginning. I am actually losing weight in the winter. I am down another 3 lbs, 17 overall. Only 6 more to my 10% goal. That also means one less point of food. In any case, it is key for me to plan easy prep meals on those days I arrive home later, like meeting day. A good part of my success over the last 2 weeks is preparing all my food, so I know exactly what points I'm eating, no guessing. Eating out is hard to figure. I have 2 business lunches this week. One is today. This could kick of cravings, so I must be careful. Today it is brought in food. I checked, and it is a cold cut platter, soup and salad. Perfect. I can easily count the points in meat and cheese. Don't need the bread. I don't want the tortellini in the soup, and it probably has fat, so I can skip it. Maybe some salad.

I made the meals for tonight and Thursday as I won't be home until about 7 or so. They take 20 minutes to bake. I can munch on a salad first. Another key difference for me is that I'm not saying, well, I've weighed in, now I can load for a meal or two. I am so far pretty strictly keeping to plan.

Saturday will not be an issue as I will be working with family again. I can control that. Sunday is going to be more difficult and I must get out to exercise despite predicted freezing temperatures. Monday is a holiday, so at home again, and this could be a clean house day which is a workout, but too often I am lazy, enjoying that extra rest day. Somehow or other I have to get to work. Maybe feeling lighter will help.

W2 D7

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 14:14:25 GMT

Tonight is weigh-in. I have to go to the gym, but have a meeting at my normal time, In addition, can't go after work as that is weigh-in time. I really like the leader. His methods motivate me. He starts with stories that then draw in the theme of the week. So Tuesday night it is. Which means be careful all day Tuesday. This morning I was done on my scale, so I am sure it was a better week. Attitude is key. Some weeks are better than others. You go with the flow. Don't blame yourself. One day you go off the reservation, the next day you get back on track. No blame, no self flagellation. Just get back on the main road. Although I have my goal of 14 more lbs by the end of February, that is a pretty hefty 2 per week. Achievable, but not easy. I just have to keep up good eating and exercise.

The other issue will be Las Vegas, land of buffets. Although I am at the track most days, with protein bars for lunch, dinner is abundant and I have to make good choices. I have my favorite haunts, but maybe I need new ones. At a restaurant you get what you order, period. No return to the food tables. But than again, right now I am still appetite sensitive, not able to eat as much, therefore a bit pickier on taste and what I want to eat. Some fried things are OK, others bother me. So, I really have to think about it. Maybe I bring breakfast things with me, protein bars, Nutrisystem muffins, then I don't have to worry as much. But if it's cold I need more in the furnace. Decisions, decisions. At least I'm thinking about how to do it.

W2 D6

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 15:18:58 GMT

Weigh-in tomorrow. Will I lose water weight? I was actual fairly on point all weekend. I ate a proper breakfast(meaning not McDonald's) both days. I spent Saturday with family, helping to unpack, sort and move books. It ended up being quite a workout. I was convinced I would clean my own house on Sunday, but vegged. I did manage to cook the chicken, and I am now purusing various recipes. I am going to make a chicken pie with a corn tortilla crust. Also an enchilda dish that is an old Zone recipe. I managed to get to the store and get enough staples so I don't have to worry now that this snow storm has hit. Just have to get to work. Life is OK.

W2 D2

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 15:27:26 GMT

So instead of a calendar week, I am now going by Weigh-in day as day 7. So today is 2 days past. Not bad, still holding close to weigh-in weight. Yesterday I was home too late to eat, yet the blood sugar was messed up in the morning. Makes me think it's time for a new meter, or at least a battery. I do feel better. except for my feet. They worked out on the cross trainer, then had to stand for a 2 hour class presentation, then had to walk 1.5 miles home. They hurt. I got home at 9PM, way too late to eat dinner. And the last point at which I could have eaten was 4:45, way too early. So why is blood sugar so high with such fasting, and only good foods? A mystery.

I don't want to go to the gym today, I went straight for 3 days. I didn't sleep the best and I'm tired. But I do feel better and I love the sauna on my tired body. I'm only in there for 5-10 minutes but it feels good. Am I talking myself in to this? I have had very little reading time lately, and I want to

My theory on the sauna is that it is preparing me for visits to AZ. 112 heat for walking from building to car is nothing compared to 150 degree sauna. If I can do one, I can do the other.

I have decided that Clementine oranges are a good fruit to eat. A vendor sells them near work for $.25 an orange. Nice source of vitamin C and fruit is acceptable over juice for blood sugar control. Less pure sugar and nice fiber. Slowly I have learned to tolerate more fruits. I really am a vegetable person. I don't enjoy an apple as such, but I will eat my applesauce. At least I know it is cooked down pure, no additives of any kind.

I am still thinking about that chicken in the freezer. If I boil it, I have chicken stock I could freeze. There will be room in the freezer once the chicken comes out. Also, guesses as to it's doneness are not an issue when you boil. If it falls off the bone, it's done. It's in water, so it doesn't dry out or overcook. I just have to look up the recipes that use cooked chicken. A pot pie might be nice, but the crust would have to be a corn tortilla. I can not be trusted around pie crust. Cooked or uncooked it is a treat to me, and it is essentially fat and flour. No redeeming feature. A whole box of pie crust when I only need enough for a small pie? I'm asking for it. Keep the danger out of the kitchen!

W2 Day 3

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 14:43:15 GMT

I wanted to see what happened in weigh-in. Slight cheating as the weekend wasn't helpful. The appetite came back, but I munched at a party and as a result was sick. Also, started taking morning blood sugar again. Total results: sugar is an absolute poison to me. Also have to watch sugar substitutes. So, no more daily chocolate bar reward (besides that it 5-10 points out of my day).

Ah, the weigh-in. I ate little and worked out at the gym without drinking and sat in the sauna for 10 minutes. According to the gym scale I took off over 1 lb in water. In any case, I did drink a lot as soon as I got home last night so as not to dehydrate. End result was down 4.5 lbs since Thanksgiving. Now this is a real moral victory as that is usually a bad time for us all. Plenty of food all around. I am sure it was helped by my traveling and being in homes with good food habits, not to say a weeklong loss of appetite.

So the next morning (today) I weigh myself and I am still down, despite evening water intake. That is the good news. I had a meal ready to eat when I got home from the meeting at 7:30, 5 minutes prep and then eat. (My blood sugar also dropped to a still high but more acceptable to me reading.) I also prepped my lunch for today.

The bad news for me is that I passed a 10lb mark (I am more than halfway to my 10% goal), and my points now drop by one. I am resolved to write it all down, especially what I produce. I do have business meals coming up, which can be harder to evaluate.

I am a woodchuck. I like to hibernate all winter and live on fat. Making my own lean meals is a must as well as working out. I usually come out of the winter slightly higher in lbs. than I was at the beginning of October. I think I just have to refuse sugar. Amazingly, a lot of fast food does have sugar. I can control that better at home.

Last weekend I got my first delivery of organically raised meat, anotherwords, they free range and don't get grain with additives. They also sold fresh eggs. So, I have a whole chicken in the freezer that I will cook this weekend. I am still debating boil or roast. Debones a lot better boiled and can be used in countless recipes. I also got two strip steaks. The 6.5 oz. of meat in one I used to make a stroganoff with lots of onions and mushrooms with fat free sour cream. I served it on brown rice. I have lots of beets prepared, I made applesauce. Many choices for me in the kitchen. I boiled the older eggs I had in the frig and am keeping the farm for weekend scrambles, mexican style.

Now I need to address the coming weekend. Be more active and eat less. I don't want to be careful all week just to lose the effect of good work on the weekends.

Week 1 Day 5

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 22:06:45 GMT

Well, things progress. According to both the home and gym scale (doctor's) I have lost 5 lbs since holding my weight from pre Thanksgiving. I know part of it is lack of appetite, but I have decided to do what I can. It also is that weight with drinking a good deal of water. If I can hold it until Tuesday, my first WW weigh-in in 6 or 7 weeks, I will be joyous. It is my 16th weight-in, a recognition time, and I only want it to be with my regular leader. I was out of town, teaching or the holidays every Tuesday since pre-Thanksgiving.

Indeed I lost my appetite, but I have been using the supplied foods, eating 3 meals, taking vitamins. I feel better. I went to the gym today, did a 85% cardio, 50% weight workout. I feel good. The percentages are based on my normal workout capacity. I have lost upper body strength. I need to work with the weights at home. Onward.

Week 1 Day 3

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 14:02:56 GMT

So I changed the dates, I'm following the new year, it's easier. I still don't have much of an appetite. The only thing I really wanted was red gummies, which were finally finished last night, but won't be replaced. I think I'm hungry, I eat something, then feel ill. Sometimes I wonder if I have a food or food additive allergy. I know I have to intake something for the sake of my health, so I'm starting to use the N system foods again. For some reason, they seem to settle my stomach. They do have extra protein added, and are pretty balanced.

I get my first 10lb meat delivery on Sunday. Then I will have to set specific menus to use the food. I can supplement with the prepared meals. Supposedly it varies month to month. Nothing need go to waste if I plan and carry through. No more take out, no more junk food. I am going try and get to the gym today. My strength is slowly returning and I am sleeping a bit better, although with the help of Tylenol PM. For now I need the rest due to being wiped by the vicious head cold. Can't become a habit.